Frustration

As usual I'm beyond frustrated with Brian and his commitment issues. Whatever he thinks now about marriage and marrying me he's going to think in 30 days. It's not going to change so drastically in the next few months. Either he wants to marry me or he doesn't. And the fact that I know he's "exploring his options" pisses me off and frankly, it hurts. Either he's being a complete and total asshole to this poor girl who has the most massive crush on him by toying with her or he's being a complete and total asshole to me by stringing me along. Why can't he just be with me or let me go? If he's with me, he needs to be WITH me. Not sending dirty myspace messages back and forth with his high school friend. And if that's what makes him happy then he needs to go fuck her or whoever it is he wants to be with and leave me the fuck alone.

ugh. I'm just so sick and tired of this limbo. I hate waiting. I HATE waiting. HATE IT. And all he's doing is hurting me by making me wait and wait and wait for him to make up his fucking mind.

:(